You always want what you can’t have; the grass is always greener on the other side; true happiness is “just around the next corner.” These are all idioms that epitomize human desire and drive. We are driven by our desires to conquer yet uncharted territory. We constantly crave something new, something different, the next upgrade or latest model.
But after we obtain the object of our desire – are we ever truly satisfied? How soon afterward do we start searching for the next pursuit? Is there a short-lived appreciation period where we bathe in the glory of the conquest at all? Or do we instantaneously lose interest and move on, forgetting about how badly we wanted that which we now possess?
Life is a delicate balance between desire, drive, and appreciation. We must always have goals towards which we strive – otherwise we cannot value our own life, and our time becomes meaningless. And our dreams guide us to set those goals. But is there some optimal point where we should stop and truly enjoy our successes, before marching onward? There must at least be a point where we should start slowing down and be grateful for the things that we have accomplished, and flourish in them. If we keep going at the same pace all the time, where will that lead us? On a goose-chase for the golden egg? Or maybe to the realization that the important things were there all along, but we have taken them for granted until they were gone?
I have a theory that the more people get what they want, the less satisfied they are after getting it. People become addicted to obtaining new things and experiences, just like they get addicted to anything else. They can never get enough.
The more people travel, the more they want to travel, see exotic places, and are in constant pursuit of the next place to visit or move to. Will these people ever find a place good enough to set down roots in? Or will they roam the earth like nomads? I’ve noticed this is particularly true for immigrants – they have already changed their whole lives as a result of moving, and survived it. After that experience – anything seems possible, and they actually desire to keep improving their lives by moving to other locations.
The more people date, the less likely they are to settle down with a partner. After all, there are plenty of fish in the sea. If you don’t try them all, you may never be sure of the rightness of your choice – choosing a mate should be an informed, educated decision! And the more people you meet, the better you get at pinpointing their flaws and discarding them at a faster rate. No one wants to waste time on building, compromising and growing. If it’s not all there on a silver platter, surely a full package will eventually appear. So we keep dating the same type of people, and have the same problems, and lose interest after we “get what we want.” I am by no means saying you should marry the first person you lay eyes on. I am just musing that at some point you should realize that there are only so many fish out there! The point is not to find some perfect version of a mate that you have in your mind. The real treasure is when you find a deep, chemical connection to another human. That can’t be faked or learned, but just is. And when it exists, everything else that is problematic can we worked on – if both people are willing and mature enough to do so. And it may just be wiser to treasure when you have something that feels so right, then to move on to another hunt that will not bring any more meaning into your life.